This text is for you: Who, like me, actually screamed at the end of the night singing “Too bad you didn’t love me, I didn’t kill myself with a verse… Oh me, I’m a romantic.” “, to the rock voice of Rita Lee in Gin Tonic V and an extra dose of pathos to Self. For you who fill your mouth with saying that these are difficult times because nobody wants to have anything to do with anything and that if Darwin lived it would be difficult to predict the evolution of the species of us romantics, beings in danger of extinction.
I bring here hard truths: you think you are a romantic, but you are immature, spoiled, deluded and self-referential. And maybe being attached to exactly what you think is romantic is the parasitic behavior of potential love, which is driving our species to extinction.
And before you cancel on me, I’ll tell you here: whoever tells you this is a grounded, grounded, card-carrying romance. A spoiled ex-romantic, wayward and self-referential (at least as far as romance is concerned… I keep taking other fantasies to the couch). We don’t need to give up romance because times are fluid, we just need to give up pouting and tantrums because a guy didn’t make you feel like a “pretty woman” by showing up unexpectedly at your window in a white dress. limousine, a car and a bouquet of flowers.
By the way… what is romance to you? I went to Google, our contemporary oracle, and the first link really opened up the center of an emotional complex: one of the dictionaries said “Romantic: poetic; fictional.” Lattice, I think it’s beautiful. But fictional? It explains why our dissatisfaction, hunger for affection, is trapped in the tower of our own castles of perfect romance.
The danger of this fictional romance is that we become more attached to the accounts we create of the perfect romance than to the romantic couple themselves. And in those, we treat that person who is with us as a character who has to fit perfectly into my imagination for the magic of the novel to happen. Do you understand why we are so spoiled for romance?
We want the first meeting to happen magically and feel like we’re in that big fish scene: where the world stops and we get closer in slow motion, intoxicated with love. We want the other to surprise us with letters kept in drawers, serenades at the door of work and surprise trips to small paradisiacal beaches.
Those big fantasy moments are beautiful. But to resort to another movie name: “Love Never Takes Vacations”, and to understand that part of the novel is done in maintenance is wonderful. Fantasizing is delicious, but studying about love (and having made a personal commitment to never give up romance and poetry in my relationships) I understood that there are some fantasies that we must put aside to build a great love. Love is building. Romantic too. It can be magical without the link happening in a magical swipe; Without big explosions, but with a series of small delicacies.
The romance I want to bring to life is one that brings a layer of poetry and charm to life. I exchange letters hidden in a drawer, For exposed feelings and long conversations after a hard day’s work, coffee prepared on Sundays, silence dotted with relief dotted with smiles in the eyes and simple declarations of love: I like you. I replace my once-in-a-lifetime trip of 15 days to paradise with 15 coffees inserted in the middle of our chaotic days, for us to meet and make love in homeopathic potions, just as it is.
I want someone to hold me tight and dance with me in the living room when I have a crying fit, but I’ve come to understand that the most romantic thing in life is telling my love that I want to dance in the living room. room, so you know what I love and what I might do one day. No less romantic if I ask, if I ask, if I listen. Being romantic doesn’t mean showing up at his house with a cupcake, knowing that he hates surprises just because you like them. Being romantic means caring about the other.
This ordinary romantic object is much more charming than romantic fantasy. Much more is possible. But for that, you have to give up the castle, put aside self-delusion and self-reference, and commit to really trying.
For me, a romantic is someone who translates the intention and feeling of being together into action. romantic presence and construction of love; A daily effort to create connections with who you choose to be. Would you like to refresh your love relationship with me, or are you still waiting for pure fantasy to fantasize?
